D: Does this pompadour make my head look funny?
A: . . . You know, of all the words I expect to come out of a 1300-year-old Pict’s mouth, those were not them.
D: That’s nice, A. You haven’t answered my question though.
A: What are you doing?
D: Trying out a new hairstyle.
A: And what’s that on your hands?
D: Oh, these? These are claws.
A: No, I think those are my salad tongs.
D: Okay, they’re salad tongs – I just wanted to see what it would look like.
A: Just wanted to see what ‘what’ would look like, D?
A: Just when I think I understand you. . .
D: You could never understand my excellence fully, A. It would take more lifetimes than you have to live.
D: Indeed. Besides, I’m not sure how you can cast stones. Who is the one running around talking on the interwebs, and coining such charming phrases as “madcap recap?” You are ridiculous, woman.
A: Thank you (and click the link to the 6th installment of the Not-So-Shocking News Dialogues at Green Embers Recommends to find out just what D is talking about). I take it this is yet another attempt to discover the actor to match your, ah, excellence?
A: So, men with claws and pompadours? While you can be beastly in temperament–
D: Funny, A. The claws are not a requirement, however I think the man that wore them for the silver screen might capture my wounded warrior spirit quite beautifully. He’s not just any beast – he’s a Hugh Jackman beast.
A: Hm. . . I really don’t want to argue with that one, but you do realize that it’s the actor’s job to give life to your voice, not your job to look like the actor, right?
D: Oh, well, uh . . .
A: Unless of course, you’ve taken up moonlighting as an impersonator. In which case . . .
A: Lose the salad tongs.